EVENT TONIGHT: MODERN BUDDHISM

Modern Buddhism

Wednesday May 24th 6.30pm
Free entry

Book event for Geshe Kelsang Gyatso's Modern Buddhism: The Path of Compassion and Wisdom



Geshe Kelsang Gyatso's Introduction to Buddhism has sold over 100,000 copies worldwide. His new book Modern Buddhism represents a synthesis of all his life's work and teachings. This event will provide a general explanation of how to apply the essence of Buddha’s teachings in daily life.

CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMANS: NIK PERRING

A weekly author Q&A series that folds back authors and breaks their spines. In the last of this current series, we question Nik Perring, whose collection of short stories Not So Perfect will be followed by Freaks!, co-written with Caroline Smailes, in spring next year. He is the headline act in this Thursday's unmissable Flash Mob Literary Salon for Chorlton Arts Festival.

Q. What's your 3rd favourite novel of all time? And why?

‘Dear Everybody’ by Michael Kimball, without question. And why? Because it’s brilliant.

Q. What is the longest conversation you've ever tried to have with an animal, and what was it about?

That would have been with a cat, I think. I was asking it why it wouldn’t talk. The cat was stubborn and the conversation, lengthy and one-sided.

Q. If your books could be printed on something other than paper, on what would you print them?

Tissue paper, so the reader’s tears of joy (despair) would have something suitable to fall on. And it could also be useful if they didn’t like my words.

Q. Let's have a Madchester-style revival but for fiction writers instead. Who gets to be Bez?

Well, I would say me, but I can’t dance. So, let’s see. Someone iconic, someone important and someone fun. I’m going to say István Örkény, because I bloody love his Café Niagara story.

Q. What's the best colour for a book cover? No, really. I like red.

Blue. Mine’s blue. So blue, without question. Definitely blue, so long as it’s that particular shade. If not, then black. With yellow on it. Like Slaughterhouse 5, because that’s ace. Red’s nice too.

Q. Plug any current book or project you're working on: please use as many long words as you can.

Long words? I’m not sure how many I know.

Well I’d like to espouse the acquisition, by as many bibliophiles, or non-bibliophiles as possible, of my monograph of short fictions, entitled, consummately appropriately, Not So Perfect (Roast Books), and also encourage the acquisition, around the vernal equinox of 2011of a differing compendium, namely, Freaks! (The Friday Project – HarperCollins), which I have co-authored with fictionist, Caroline Smailes.

In other words: I would like to plug my short story collection, ‘Not So Perfect,’ and also Freaks!, which is due out in spring next year, which I’ve co-written with Caroline Smailes and that’s been illustrated by Darren Craske.

Conversations With Humans will be back with a second series of interviews in a few months.

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY AND HORROR BESTSELLERS

From the past four weeks, here are our top sellers from the overarching genre of science fiction, fantasy and horror.

5. JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit

"A finely written saga of dwarves and elves, fearsome goblins and trolls! an exciting epic of travel and magical adventure, all working up to a devastating climax." Observer

4. George RR Martin's Clash Of Kings

"Martin captures all the intoxicating complexity of the Wars of the Roses or Imperial Rome in his imaginary world... one of the greats of fantasy literature." SFX

3. Priest's Inverted World

"One of two or three of the most impressive pure-SF novels produced in the UK since World War Two." Encyclopaedia Of Science Fiction

2. George RR Martin's A Game Of Thrones

"Fantasy literature has never shied away from grandeur, but the sheer-mind-boggling scope of this epic has sent other fantasy writers away shaking their heads." Guardian

1. Tom Fletcher's Thing On The Shore

"An atmospheric, entertaining book that, with its criticisms of corporate culture, manages to be about something more than just monsters." SFX

CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMANS: JENN ASHWORTH

A weekly author Q&A series that rummages into the handbag of authors and finds an out-of-date Tesco clubcard voucher. This week, we question Jenn Ashworth, author of A Kind Of Intimacy. Jenn will launch her new black comedy Cold Light, along with Tom Fletcher's The Thing On The Shore, at An Outlet on May 13th, 8pm. You can also see her at the unmissable performance project Station Stories later in May.

Q. What's your 3rd favourite novel of all time? And why?

Recently I have been really impressed with Russ Litten's Scream If You Want to Go Faster. I don't think I'm old enough to have a favourite of all time. Or even a third favourite. But the books I keep going back to, amazed, are Moby Dick, Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina.

Q. What is the longest conversation you've ever tried to have with an animal, and what was it about?

Every day I have long conversations with my cats. I'm in the house a lot either on my own, or with a little baby that doesn't answer back yet. So some of the conversations last days. They are usually about what I am writing at that minute, or rants about some domestic failure of mine. The cats are called Freddy and The Nolan Sisters. Freddy is a much better conversationalist, but the Nolans are genuinely good listeners.

Q. If your books could be printed on something other than paper, on what would you print them?

The rice paper that the outsides of those flying saucer sweeties are made of. Edible books!

Q. Let's have a Madchester-style revival but for fiction writers instead. Who gets to be Bez?

I don't know what this question means. Who is Bez? (scuttles off to google) Sorry. I am still no clearer. I am prepared to fail this question. I feel a bit embarrassed now.

Q. What's the best colour for a book cover? No, really. I like red.

Yes, I like red too. I have a red chair and red bookcases so I reckon a red book would do nicely. Although 'teal' is also a firm favourite of mine. If I was at home reading, red would do nicely. Although if I was out and about, teal would be better as it would match more of my outfits.

Q. Plug any current book or project you're working on: please use as many long words as you can.

This is tricky. I'm such a bad speller I usually make it a policy to avoid long words. I am awaiting the publication of my second novel with trepidation and chickenheartedness. I am industriously working on my third, which is about a family made up of one disconsolate son, a gravid daughter, a homeward-bound proselyting brother, an almost-philandering father and a passive-aggressive, hypochondriac mother. I am also carrying on with my pedagogical pursuits.

INSERT ANNOYING 'SECRET SMILE' SONG REFERENCE HERE

We don't get a huge number of children our way, but we do get lots of parents.

You will find our children's department near our cafe. We do stock all the classics, such as Narnia and Potter (yes, that's now a classic whether you like it or not).

We also try to be a little different.

So you'll find books full of black spots (600 of them), or books that are more hole than page, and even this unique secret smiley book (pictured).

CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMANS: DAVID GAFFNEY

A weekly author Q&A series that braves the paper-cut of author's wit so you don't have to. This week, we question David Gaffney, a prolific Manchester-based author who wrote the Edge Hill Prize long-listed The Half-Life of Songs. He is one of the stars of this month's Station Stories.

What's your 3rd favourite novel of all time? And why?

To establish accurate rankings of my favourite examples of certain cultural genres, I use a blend of the basic alternative vote system and a favourable characteristic matrix score. For example, to establish my third favourite novel I would calculate the number of favourable characteristics of my first favourite crime novel, my second favourite American novel, and my third favourite English literary work, add them together, divide by three, and then rank them by the favourable characteristics total score of each. So my third favourite novel is of course The Restraint of Beasts by Magnus Mills. If you all try this at home the answer is always The Restraint of Beasts – it’s weird.

Q. What is the longest conversation you've ever tried to have with an animal, and what was it about?

When I was15, I spoke to my younger sister’s budgerigar for a long time about an unrequited love I harboured for a girl called Angela Watson who lived down past the farm. I was out of my head on drugs most of the time back then, living in the edge really, and the budgerigar seemed to speak back to me, and it spoke a lot of sense - about life, and cages and mirrors, and it was a really existential experience, and it asked me if I had thought about getting some big mirrors for my bedroom, because this strategy had really worked for the budgerigar, it meant there was no need to worry about searching for a real companion. I took this on board and lived like that until was thirty three, until one day I hired a professional cleaner to sort out my mirrors and fell in love with her.

Q. If your books could be printed on something other than paper, on what would you print them?

I have always wanted to have my books printed on Margaret Thatcher’s dead body because I’m really left wing and cool and I really hate Margaret Thatcher cos she really fucked the country up in the eighties - didn’t she drop bombs down mines and kill Yorkshire people and invent poll vaulting, and things like that? She was terrible. In fact I would like the printing process to actually be the thing that kills her - the little needles with ink in them would also have poison in and Margaret Thatcher would gradually die a slow death from having my short stories injected into her skin.

Q. Let's have a Madchester-style revival but for fiction writers instead. Who gets to be Bez?

Bez is a hollow cheeked Marraca shaking drug-addicted dancing fool – so who other than Julian Barnes himself, whose louche activities with the ladies and experiments with illegal substances are well documented, and whose well known book the Naked Lunch is full of racy, suburban wife swapping, mountain biking, and reefer baking, and is like a distilled bottle of Bez’s spirit in book form.

Q. What's the best colour for a book cover? No, really. I like red.

I did actually look into the effect of a book’s colour on sales when my book Aromabingo came out and it was pink. It wasn’t selling so well and this was clearly down to the colour of the cover not the content so I had a look at the top one hundred fiction sellers and it turns out that dark green is the best colour for fiction. There’s no question about it.

Q. Plug any current book or project you're working on: please use as many long words as you can.

My latest book The Half-Life of Songs is being performed live at Manchester Piccadilly station by a choir of insects, amplified and sound manipulated by digital artists. This is happening this month - see http://www.stationstories.com/ for more information.